Minor Disappointment's First Annual Minorly Disappointing Releases of the Year

Here we are, on the verge of 2010, up to our eyebrows in year end lists. By this point, we—or, myself, at least—are all looking for anything, no matter how irrelevant, that will put a slightly different spin on the year end list. Being a firm believer that the characters presented in that 15-minute Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds epic “Babe, I’m on Fire” can be used to classify anything, here’s my contribution: ten 2009 releases that didn’t disappoint me in some way, with the accompanying “Babe” character each album reminds me of. Sound ridiculous? On the contrary, I think you’ll find the pairings are most uncanny:

10) Artist: The Horrors

Album: Primary Colours

Applicable “Babe” character: The sweet little goth with the ears of cloth.

Their lyrics aren’t as profound as these former Goths may think and, on this, likely chronicle a romance with woman of class Peaches Geldof. The synth-drenched melodies, however, are irresistible and over half the tracks are as tight as The Horrors’ trousers. I’m neither a hater nor a lover, but please; wait until the third album to let the panty-bunching commence. Honorable mention goes to Primary Colours producer Geoff Barrow’s side project Beak>. But, you know, fabulous looks mean a lot to a shallow sadface like me, so Horrors get the numbered ranking.

9) Artist: Jarvis Cocker

Album: Further Complications

Applicable “Babe” character: The swinger and the flinger.

Not nearly as strong as his self-titled solo debut, but it was nice to see Jarvis taking a risk by getting a little grimy with Steve Albini. The clever lyrics strewn amid the filler rank just as highly as Cocker’s most stinging Pulp barbs. “I can't dance you to the end of the night ‘cos I’m afraid of the dark” (from “I Never Said I Was Deep”) still brings a chuckle seven months on.

8) Artist: Mount Eerie

Album: Wind’s Poem

Applicable “Babe” character: The man going hiking.

Like an even creepier, more obscure version of Liars’ masterpiece Drum’s Not Dead. Black metal onslaughts are evened out by moments of serenity, but the more unnerving method is a matter of contention. True nightmare material, and if you don’t believe me, go see the live show.

7) Artist: Florence + The Machine

Album: Lungs

Applicable “Babe” character: The mad basket weaver.

She tries too hard to be wacky and appears to be a bit on the overrated side in the UK, but as far as sock knocking goes, “Dog Days Are Over” may have been the album opener of the year. Succeeding tracks “Rabbit Heart,” “I’m Not Calling You A Liar,” and “Howl” further prove there is more than a bit of talent under the kook.

6) Artist: Atlas Sound

Album: Logos

Applicable “Babe” character: The Chinese Contortionist (I know he’s not Chinese, but no one on this list is more angular than Bradford Cox.)

A big step in the right direction following the excellent if patchy debut, Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel. Even if Logos had been a cop-out, “Shelia” alone packs enough candy-pop weirdness to last a whole season.

5) Artist: PJ Harvey and John Parish

Album: A Woman, A Man, Walked By

Applicable “Babe” character: The demented young lady who is roasting her baby on the fire.

White Chalk, Harvey’s last outing, was interesting if a little snooze-inducing. While more erratic, Queen Peej’s latest venture—her second collaboration with guitarist Parish—is a return to form. See the sublime “Black-Hearted Love” for proof. Also, feral PJ is always welcome, and she turns her fierceness up a decibel on the title track and “Pig Will Not.”

4) Artist: Rowland S Howard

Album: Pop Crimes

Applicable “Babe” character: The koala, the echidna, and the platypus too.

While in The Boys Next Door—the band that would become The Birthday Party—Howard wrote “Shivers,” one of my all-time favorite songs. I never thought I would hear another ballad that reached its lusty teenage heights, but Pop Crimes opener “(I Know) A Girl Called Jonny” comes really damn close. Throw in a bitchin’ Talk Talk cover (“Life’s What You Make It”) and Howard’s signature Aussie swamp guitar trickery, and you’re left feeling like you’ve left the prom barefoot and caked in blood.

3) Artist: Camera Obscura

Album: My Maudlin Career

Applicable “Babe” character: The enthused and the despondent.

Sad songs veiled as happy pop ditties—when done right—can be better than sad songs unadorned. This album is a good argument for that statement if there ever was one. If beguiling hooks weren’t enough, singer Tracyanne Campbell’s vocals make you feel every blue emotion that she sings. “Your pain’s gigantic but it’s not as big as your ego” (from the brilliant title track) may be the lyric of the year.

2) Artist: Richard Hawley

Album: Truelove’s Gutter

Applicable “Babe” character: The lonely old Eskimo (again, ethnicity don’t matter; Hawley is a lonely old badger and we love him for it).

There is no doubt that Richard Hawley is a master at crafting the beautifully sad and sadly beautiful tunes. Until now, it was uncertain as to whether Hawley could create a whole album that could wholly immerse you in its sadness. Such a creation may not sound like easy listening, and although Hawley has one of the most soothing voices on the scene, it’s not. But as far as transformative, challenging albums go, I wouldn’t be surprised if Truelover’s Gutter one day finds its place among the classics. And if it doesn’t, I will petition it to my death.

1) Artist: Manic Street Preachers

Album: Journal For Plague Lovers

Applicable “Babe” character: Either The college professor or The loon in the straight jacket. Or maybe a little of both.

Let’s chart my Manics devotion through the year—January to February: greeted the news they were recording a new album with “whatever, I’m over them”; March: greeted the news they were using missing member Richey Edwards’ lyrics on said album with, “Jesus, this is going to be terrible!”; read the tracklisting, held my beliefs; gave “Peeled Apples” a listen; indifference; April: read a review in Uncut stating, “hold the presses, this album’s so good that it makes (bassist) Nicky Wire’s singing palatable”;
intrigue; finally bunker down and listen to it; am blown away, come running back to Manics fandom like a little CoR bitch; October: see Manic Street Preachers three times, pogo to “Faster” in its entirety three nights in a row, find justification for every particle of my existence up to that point.

In short, this album is really, really, really good. Go read the lyrics to “All is Vanity”; it raises the most interesting argument of any song this year. Welcome back to my heart Manics. The space is meager, but there will always be room enough for you.

Miscellany:

Single of the Year:

The Mae Shi, “R U Professional”—A great song commemorating my favorite celebrity freak-out of the year.

Music Video of the Year:

Yeah Yeah Yeah, “Heads Will Roll”---A werewolf that dances like Michael Jackson, synths, and an abundance of blood and glitter. In short, all the things that remind me of 2009 in one video. Also, it’s about time someone cut Nick Zinner in two.

Disappointment of the Year:

Girls—Album: I decided to see whether my dismissal of indie buzz was unfounded and gave this a listen; turns out it’s still good to tread lightly where hype reigns. I know a lot of indie guys are whiny, but really now, there’s no need to be replicating the sound a cat makes when it’s getting its balls cut off while simultaneously being dipped in acid. Did I mention this is the vocal styling of choice for nearly twelve songs straight. And the band’s name? Wait, what? You’re telling me there are no actual girls in the band? Oh, you indie guys just slay me!